Saturday, December 10, 2005

Nebulous

People ask me how I'm feeling. And I say Ok. But it's really weird because I don't feel sick, I just don't feel right. I think I look alright, I can't put my finger on what it is. I still get the mild ongoing headaches and it feels like I am wearing a skull cap - a crocheted one that sort of makes my scalp tingle. And I get so damn tired. Everything is an effort. Not that I necessarily get out of breath, I just have no energy.

This is just so bizarre for me. I'm so used to being on the go constantly and now to have the brakes put on... I went to bed at about 8 last night and woke up at 6 - didn't even move, just flat out.

Naturally, I have been getting all the bills from the doctors and hospitals and labs, and the one I got with all the original lab tests show they did a test for lupus and has nobody has said anything I am assuming that it is negative so that is a load off my mind. One less variable.

I'm not complaining really - I guess I am just frustrated. I'm feeling really sort of fragmented - that's an odd word to use but it describes my mind at the moment. Not sure of anything - which way my life is going, which way my health is going - just not right. Could be the prednisone withdrawal too - I'll have to look online and see if there is anything about that.

So today I came into the office to download all the files from my server. It's so much faster here on the DSL line - our satellite is really quite slow although for most of my stuff it is just fine. I am going to rebuild my site from scratch again. But I did buy a cool template so that will make things easier.


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