Moving forward

It's ages since I did any writing at all. There has just been sooo much going on...

It's actually the beginning of May since the last post; just after Scott died. It seems a lifetime ago.

Now here we are, the day after independence day, past mid-summer and I am still wearing fleece and furry slippers, with the heat on. The weather people have been predicting sun and warmth for days but I have given up on them. Every day is the same, gray and dreary in the mornings, usually drizzly, then sometimes burning off in the late afternoon when everyone rushes outside to catch some rays. But the temperature doesn't rise enough, although the light is wonderful then.

So it is definitely time for me to leave this place. The weather has a profound affect on how I feel both physically and mentally. With that in mind, I am formulating a plan and it goes something like this - and always subject to change!

First the house: As I am not going to be able to keep it, I will stay here as long as I can until the bank takes it back. Along with that comes the loan from Ghen that I have that needs to be paid back. This is the money I borrowed through Ryan to pay Chris off when he went to Florida and quit claimed the house to me. He is the only one who has made any money on our properties! The money I won't be paying on the mortgage will go to Ghen. It is actually a relief to let the house go. It has been difficult trying to hang on to it as I do love the location on the water, and the house is so liveable and comfy; I have become quite attached to it. I've been here six years now, the longest I have been in one house in my entire adult life! But I have pared back my lifestyle to where I live so simply and with so little "stuff." I sold just about everything at my big garage sale last summer and have never replaced it, so the physical move will be easy.

Once the house goes, I will move myself and the business down to Southern California somewhere. The business will have to go into a warehouse/office type place as I won't be able to afford to get a house with a garage, and besides, the way the business is growing, pretty soon it will be too big for a garage anyway. Once there, I will continue to grow the business, but look at bringing someone else in to run it. More on that aspect in a bit.

Then in the next couple of years, I want to be down in Central America somewhere, close to or on the beach, where I can live cheaply and the medical system is good. Next year I can get social security, not a whole lot, but there are countries there where I can live on it, very frugally. But I am used to living that way now, so it won't be a big change. I have a feeling that the place will be Panama - they have a great medical system, the weather is good, there is lots of sun and beautiful beaches and it doesn't get cold. Susan will be gone most of this winter for 3-4 months and Janet is already spending 8 months in Mexico and the thought of being up here and enduring a winter without my two dearest friends is very depressing.

Mymixednuts will continue to grow. And if possible I can do a lot of the work from anywhere in the world. It's the physical aspect of it that needs someone to run it. And if it is in SoCal, then it will be close to the other partners ( I am supposed to get an equity share in September) who can keep an eye on things.

Doing this business has been an amazing experience, something I would never have thought I could do. But it's amazing what we can accomplish when we are faced with a do or die situation. Every step of the way has been a challenge, and new ones present themselves every day. It is getting to the point now, where at times it is too much for one person to handle, and I have been really blessed to have Susan step in to help, and been able to hire a young man for half a day to help with a big order. Taking it to the next level is going to need more expertise I think. I've been operating by the seat of my pants, doing what's in front of me but now I am going to need help planning out the next steps. It is a viable business, but needs more than the Mom and Pop take on it. Our marketing people are doing a great job, and the accountant is doing the basic books, but we are going to need inventory management etc etc. And that is beyond my accounting/math/whatever skills.

But creating the site and business has definitely given me the confidence to move ahead, on my own. It's scary thinking about the future by myself, but now I know I can do it without anyone else around to help. Ryan has always been there in the background, online and on the phone, and his support has been invaluable. But it would really have been good to have a partner here. But I know I can do it without someone, so I guess that is the lesson in all this.

So I need to continue to develop other streams of income, while keeping MMN going; work that I can take with me wherever I go. The Kangen water business is one of those and I continue to drink copious amounts and totally believe in. My health would not be anywhere near what it is now without the water.

And then there is the writing side of things that I have let go. Ryan wants me to write a book but I don't know if I have the staying power - I am so used to writing articles that something book length is intimidating. Then there is writing for the web and that is all about building a brand for myself. But if I put as much effort into that as I have into MMN, it should work.

I am exploring options. Working the long hard hours that I have in the past month are not what I have in mind for the next part of my life. It takes too much out of me physically, and thus, mentally. And I want to spend more of my time doing things that I have laid aside for years - like creative cooking and sewing and even using my camera which sits languishing on my desk, used only to take pix of nuts! And I want to make enough, or more than enough, to be able to travel back and forth from wherever I am to see family and friends, wherever they may be - Southern California, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, Mexico.

And of course, writing too. Today is a holiday so I don't feel guilty taking time to even write this blog. And this is cathartic, putting it all down and out there makes my plan more real. I've been floating too long with no direction, simply putting one step ahead of the last, but now it's time.

Spring has sprung

I shouldn't say "finally," but Spring is here for sure now. The first tulips are open, the fruit trees are in full bloom, and the grass needs mowing! 

So now there is color popping up all over the place, and that is what turns this place into one of the most beautiful places to be - in the spring and summer! The weather is warming up, the heater doesn't come on nearly as much, and I can be outside without being totally bundled up! Definitely not barefoot weather yet, but doable. Today I will do some weeding, which for me is quite therapeutic. The weeds are growing faster than the flowers and am thinking that some of them are quite pretty, so maybe should cultivate them, instead of the ornamentals! It would make my life simpler, for sure.

My trip south for my birthday week was absolutely one of the best! I felt so good, and I think part of that is that I am feeling so healthy! I did miss my water, though and the water in LA is SO bad that I had to resort to drinking bottled water, which just about kills me to do, knowing what I know about it. But it is a step up from the tap water. 

Just spending time with family and friends is so important to me. And now I must fill out paperwork for a loan modification on this house and I have decided that if I can get the loan down to a reasonable amount, I will put a renter in here to cover it and then move down south somehow. Don't know how, yet, but it will figure itself out as I go ahead.

And when I do move, I will simply rent a truck, load the nuts and what I want to take in the back and kitties in the cab, hook the car up behind it and head south. It will mean finding a place to pack nuts, but I don't think that will be too difficult - if it comes down to it, we can use Ryan's garage. 

MyMixedNuts relauch will happen in the next couple of weeks. It has been a long slog, getting the stuff redone, with the developers and designers getting flu in the middle of it and slowing things down. And also, for some reason, they were not "getting" what it is we are trying to do, but finally I think we are there. So the new pages should be live next week for testing, the wicked-pr will start the media blitz, which means for me, I will be packing a lot of nuts! They are planning to send out sample bags to at least 50 media outlets so I have to be prepared for that, and will have more details on Monday. 

But it has been interesting as I learn more about SEO (search engine optimization) and all the internal linking within a site that makes it more searchable by google and other search engines. And once I have the new pages, it means a lot of content production, so I am going to be very busy. 

But I am going to have to find more work, as my income is just not enough - at the moment it barely covers my expenses and this is not how I want to be living. I would love to be able to do the writing and photography sort of thing I was doing for Country Life, writing about the social upliftment programs and stuff like that in South Africa. It would be optimum to be working for a NGO that needed stories and pictures like that who would send me to do them. It always felt so good to be able to help - mainly the women - the way the articles helped, by bringing new business to them, and showcasing what they are accomplishing. Although I wasn't volunteering or contributing to them financially, I knew I was helping in other ways.

So I have my work cut out for me, but I love being busy and having a goal. Now, Hinckley, off my lap, time for me to get dressed, and out in the garden to soothe my soul.

Garage Sale Weekend

It was a lot of work getting ready for this, but boy, was it worth it! It's amazing what people will buy - and amazing that I had it there, ready for them! I kept finding stuff in the the storage cupboards in the garage that Chris had left - bags and bags of steel wool, sandpaper of every different grit, hand tools and boxes and bottles of nuts, bolts and screws. And things like come-alongs - five of them. Cables and fasteners and just stuff. And people loved it. Of course, there was other stuff, typical garage sale things like excess kitchen tools, mugs and things.

Yesterday was the main day and lucky for me it dawned clear and sunny. I planned to open up at 9, so at about 8 ran the sign to the top of the road near the highway. A woman stopped, and said. "Can I follow you?" and there I was, hardly any coffee, no breakfast already open for business. I am so grateful to Janet and Susan who helped me out. Janet was there at 8 yesterday and I don't think I could have done it without her. She kept everything organized and as things sold, moved things around, staged stuff and generally was amazing. By 2pm, I was ready to close up shop, but people kept showing up, so I kept taking their money, and finally closed up around 3:30.

One of my neighbors bought one of the crab traps, and joking, I said, "Part of the deal is that you have to bring me a crab." Well, there I was across the street with a glass of wine, and he drove up and said, "I have your crab, two of them." How wonderful was that? So I rushed home and got the water on to boil, took the crab in the bucket down onto the dock, grabbed a back leg and slammed him against the dock (I learned that trick from an old fisherman years ago) then peeled off the carapace and cleaned it out. Then dispatched the second one. Popped them in the pot and 8 minutes later was on the deck with a nice chilled Chardonnay, drawn butter and a whole Dungeness crab. My kind of heaven.

Today I woke up to pouring rain and a howling gale, and thought how lucky I was to have started the sale yesterday. It began slowly, but the weather cleared and people came out. So though it wasn't as busy, Susan, who came down to help, and I did well. It is so helpful to have someone else there, and more fun too as we could laugh and joke about what was going on.

I met people, neighbors, who I had never seen before and we have been there for five years! Everyone wants to know where I am going, and most want to know if Hinckley if going too! As if I would leave my boys behind, but he is such the community cat, people are going to miss him.

With business much slower, Susan and I decided to take in a movie, so I drove up to Port Townsend and we went to the matinee of Julie and Julia! What fun that was. So lighthearted and funny, just what the doctor ordered. It also made me inspired again to cook. But I find it very boring to just cook for myself. I love to cook for others, to share the joys of a successful creation and even the flops, resorting to a tuna sandwich when the chef's results are dismal.

The house feels different...furniture gone or moved out to the garage. The boys know something is up and are staying close to home. It's time for me to move on, and I know the person who is just the right renter is just around the corner.